Scaring me out of the health care system

Zjabs has a mole of sorts on his back. He's noticed it has gotten a little larger over time.

He decided to be proactive and have the doctor look at it.

The doctor said 'it's waxy and symmetrical. I am 99.9% sure it's nothing. However I'm not a dermatologist so we will send you to one.' (And that my friends is how money is made in the system- once they get you in the door, they keep you there as long as they can).

Zjabs and his wife went to the dermatologist. Zjabs had his wife come back to the room. The doctor was a nice enough fellow, older gentleman. He was wearing a pair of boots that Zjabs would call elf boots- and the gentleman came across as gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course, but he seemed a bit effeminate.

He checked out the mole and said it was fine. He took a measurement and set Zjabs up to come back in three months as they now had something to go on (and that my friends is how money is made in the system- once they get you in the door, they keep you there as long as they can).

He then said that since I was there, he may as well check for other growths- he had Zjabs stick his arms out as he looked at them etc. He kept a running conversation as he looked.

Then the part that made Zjabs the most uncomfortable he's ever been at the doctor-a non-sequitur that Zjabs didn't take at first as such.

The doctor said 'do you know where most cancer on the skin is found? Drop your pants...'

Zjabs' wife says that Zjabs' eyes got really large as Zjabs said in a weird voice 'where?'

Zjabs honestly doesn't even remember the answer as he was in shock. And the doctor was nothing but professional. But for a moment, Zjabs was glad he had his wife in the room with him!

-Zjabs (Rochester's Official Columnist)

© 2017 Zjabs - 3/18/17


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