There are a number of lines that Zjabs uses regularly with his friends.
For example, Zjabs will say something incredibly rude, and then will save the day by saying 'I'm kidding, that's what I do, I'm a kidder...'
or Zjabs will say something silly and say that the only possible explanation is something incredibly outlandish. Johnny will say 'what about...' and then give a real explanation. Zjabs will look at him blankly and say 'anyhooooooo......' and act like he never heard Johnny.
Or Zjabs will know full well that Johnny didn't do something that Johnny should have done. However, Zjabs will 'assume' that Johnny did it and then go on and on about how great things are because Johnny prepared himself by taking Zjabs' advice in the first place. Eventually Johnny has to say that he didn't do it to which Zjabs replies (with pursed lips) 'ohhhhh.....'
And of course, there's when Zjabs uses 'unrelated' which of course means 'related'. Zjabs had a zinger with this- a buddy of his announced a divorce. So Zjabs emailed the buddy asking 'hey, are you still living in your wife's house? Unrelated,do you know why Johnny X thinks I'm a big jerk?' (My buddy did have a good answer. He replied 'yes, and yes.'
Which brings up 'Hilarity will ensue.' Zjabs will see a situation and come up with some absolutely terrible things to do (as in 'bad taste'- I know that's hard to believe but sometimes Zjabs can do crude), and then will try to sell it by saying 'hilarity will ensue.'
I only wish my friends would listen to me. They'd see, hilarity WOULD ensue- at least for me.
-Zjabs (Rochester's Official Columnist)
© 2012 Zjabs - 5/7/12
