Never ending idiots

My son's favorite story.

About 12 years ago, I fell off an aluminum ladder.  Actually I got "twisted up" in the ladder and fell.

Wound up breaking my right wrist and four ribs.

Much pain.

Wife not home but ten year old son handles 911 call flawlessly.

A ton of emergency responders arrive.  Fire department cuts off the ladder.

And then, a familiar face.

"Hello, Mr. D, I'm driving the ambulance."

The driver knew me as a Special Ed. student at a prior place of employment.

Special Ed.  Not what I hoped to see in the first medical professional I encounter.  The jolts of pain kick in to a new level  (Please no special ed. hate mail).

I am loaded into the ambulance, my son hops in up front.

The young ambulance tech girl takes my blood pressure, but has nothing to record it with.

"Excuse me, sir do you have a pen?"


I painfully shake my head 'no'.

Gets worse. The driver has been instructed to drive to a backup hospital.  BUT HE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO GET THERE.

And I do. But I can barely speak. But I somehow manage.  As I face backward, I calculate the back facing turns in my head, and excruciatingly yell out directions to the !^*&*&!ing driver.

I arrive at the ER miraculously alive.
But the madness continues.  The x-ray tech insists I get off the gurney and get on the x-ray table.

"I can't, sir."

"You have no choice", he says.

I get on the table, screaming in pain.

He takes the x-rays.

"Wow, sir, you have 4 broken ribs. I would have taken the x-rays on the gurney had I known."

Can't make this !*&!@ up.

Back to the ER.  Two nurses come in and hold me down.


Found out why.

Doctor comes in and resets my wrist.

Level 10 agony.

My son walks into the room and flashes a big smile.

"Dad, this is the stupidest night ever."

How right he was.

© 2015 amnesiac - 1/10/15

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