Mutual of Omaha,Baby
Mutual of Omaha was, and maybe still is an insurance company that sponsored the TV series Wild Kingdom in the 1950's. This show was terribly funny without having any intention of doing so. Animal handlers were nearly killed squaring off with wild beasts in mud pits. Boooyahhh!
In a nearly unrelated journey from my brain, in the 70's Saturday Night Live featured a skit called Mr Bill, that included a character called Sluggo of Omaha. It was outrageously funny. Clay character Sluggo would beat the crap out of clay character Mr Bill on a weekly basis. We all wanted more.
For some reason, I loved saying 'Mutual of Omaha', and I think it should be used more often today. I have thought of several ways of using this expression and I'd love to hear if you agree-
1. Cabinet member to President of US Wayne Lapierre-
"Sir, my feelings are toward establishing a NRA cabinet position"
Lapierre-"Yes, yes Mutual of Omaha on that."
2.Sweaty naked gorgeous woman in my bed-
"Oooohhh, I am on fire, I think we should..."
Me- "I am soooo Mutual of Omaha, baby."
3. My ex-wife, hearing that I am nominated for husband of the year- "I am non Mutual of Omaha with that."
4.Everyone, upon hearing that former Weather underground bombers Bill Ayers and Bernadine Doehrn are free to be 'prestigious' academics-
"No Mutual of effing Omaha way."
And what does Mutual of Omaha really mean? Who coined the term? Was it two people in mutual agreement who happened to live in Omaha? I so passionately must know.
I mean, think deeply about what it's not. It's not Mutual of Waco, Texas. It's not Mutual of Alberta, Canada. It's Mutual of Omaha.
That's Mutual of a schlubby, little Midwestern city. Greatness! And if I croak, and come back in five thousand years, I am confident it still will be Mutual of Omaha.
And that, my friends, would be good.
© 2014 amnesiac - 11/1/14