The sound that you hear is screaming flop sweat...after 100 days

I am a winner!

I am a winner!

Do you hear me, I am a winner!

My inaugural crowd was the biggest ever! But it wasn't.

My electoral margin was the biggest since Reagan! But it wasn't.

My popular vote was higher than Hillary...3 to 5 million illegal votes prevented it! Except I have no proof.

And I had the greatest first 100 days of any president! Not like my predecessor Obama (who actually did inherit a disaster), who, we remind you dozens of times every day, was a disaster.

My jobs numbers, which was phony for Obama, is real for me when the numbers are good. But last month's numbers are not real (big job loss).

I was able to appoint a Supreme Court Justice! (with the help of Mitch McConnell and the nuclear option).

I carried out all sorts of executive actions (which was bad when Obama did them)....and when I did them, I would hold up the signed form, swinging it left to right, for everyone to see...while people stood in a semi circle behind me.

And I was able to get all sorts of stuff through congress...give me time...I am thinking...oh yeah, we are pushing through the disastrous new health plan right now so it makes it within 100 days (millions lose care...no pre existing conditions!).

Except it won't.

This is tough. How can I lie about legislative action after 100 days? Be sure of one thing.

I will.

I am not just the biggest liar as President.

I am the biggest liar. Period.

© 2017 amnesiac...Hudson Valley's finest - 4/21/17


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