WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN? AM GUESSING TOO LATE!

from my backyard oasis

Several years ago, for my birthday, the kids gave me a Keurig coffee machine. At the time the machines were new so Ms. Techie was thrilled.

Having gone from an aluminum perculator to several Mr. Coffee’s, to a little electric four cup pot, this new machine with its ability to make one cup of your choice of beverage was, in my opinion, amazing. I spent the better part of that year buying and trying every single pod of coffee known to man. It was fun to allow all my company to “pick” their choice of coffee or tea. The grandchildren loved making hot chocolate and mulled cider and even the Pumpkin Spice got a thumbs up. Yes, my new pot was the highlight of the year.In fact it was such a hit that I dragged the heavy machine back and forth to Cottage by the Sea for the next few years.

Somewhere along the way as coffee prices jumped it suddenly occurred to me that my one mug of morning coffee was costing me a small fortune and the plastic one-use pods were not able to be recycled. I was delighted when i discovered I could purchase a plastic refill cup which allowed me to use my own coffee. It was the perfect solution to both problems.

My coffee bill went from spending my kid’s inheritance to a pound of coffee, plus an occasional variety box to offer my company or perhaps as a treat for myself. In the end I have really enjoyed the machine which has served me well until a few months ago when something broke.

Suddenly after several mishaps, most mornings found me standing in front of the machine with a spare cup in my hand because the machine would spit out perhaps one half cup of java. When re-started, it might then send a travel mug size rather than just the other half cup. This was to say the least annoying inasmuch as I am not a morning person thus beginning the day with a struggle is just not my cup of tea. (or rather coffee) It took another 24 hours to locate the owner’s manual to troubleshoot my problem as now the machine is seven years old but I persevered. I read the booklet for he first time as though it was a novel after which I cleaned, re-cleaned, defragged, wiggled and tightened. Satisfied I popped in a pod and within seconds I was using unladylike language. I gave up.

It was at that moment in time the conclusion was drawn, I needed a new Keurig.

As good fortune would have it Kohl’s had just began one of the never ending sales, so armed with a 30% coupon + $10.00 off $50 + a gift card off I went for my new purchase.

A short time later I found myself in the home goods department where it took only a minute to realize that in the last seven years, Keurig has come a long way. I found an array of brightly colored pots, carafes, and a million and one kinds of coffee and tea.

After careful consideration, I chose a lovely aqua 2.0 brand new Keurig. The coffee pot, I decided, would be a super addition to my new summer room décor. I could hardly wait to get home, unpack the machine and set-up my “coffee station.”

The idea for a “coffee station” came to me a couple of years ago while I was impatiently sitting in a waiting room with five of six other women in hospital gowns waiting for a mammogram. To soothe our souls, Dr. Ide’s group has a neat free-to- you coffee/tea area. It actually is a great idea as it helps keep one from looking over each person as you wonder if their test is routine or like mine where one prays for the word – negative, Too nervous to indulge, I did however observe every detail deciding I had just the spot for said station.

Anyhow back to my lovely aqua 2.0 Keurig. Once set up, I dashed to my cutsie basket of pods, chose one, put it in the machine, lowered the lid and up popped a message – sorry you cannot use this pod in this machine. Who knew? Obviously not me!

Next I decided I would get out my reusable cup. I filled it with coffee put it in the machine. Same message. I tried a tea pod, a cider pod and even a gingerbread pod. As my blood pressure was rising, I re-read the message which said please contact Customer Service at 1- which I did.

I actually got someone in this country, a man who was pleasant. Apparently he had been chatting with lots of women such as myself as it was obvious he was using a rather how dumb can you be voice as he explained only pods with white,lavender or pink rims will work in the new 2.0.

Hmmm, I wondered out loud what was I supposed to do with the myriad of pods in my basket. He assured me he had a solution so for the next ten minutes we counted my unusable pods somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty. He announced he was sending me a coupon so that I could order any two boxes of coffee free.

Mr. Be-Nice to old ladies also informed me that as of that date purchasing the little reusable cup was out of the question as according to him the engineers were working on one as we spoke.

Minutes later the coupon appeared in the email so I spent the next hour scouring more than 500 brands of coffee for my freebe.

Fortunately while counting all my leftovers I discovered the last box of coffee had pods with a, thank you Lord, white rim. Walla, at last – a good cup of coffee.

The next morning I resumed my regular routine of bringing my coffee to the computer to check email. Low and behold there was an email welcoming me to the Keurig 2.0 world. It seemed the company was so delighted that I purchased the 2.0 the offer was made to purchase two boxes of coffee and the company would match the offer with two more free boxes all with free shipping.

I whizzed through my mathematical skills quickly deciding four free boxes for me buying two was a pretty good deal. I ordered more coffee.

I bet you think this story is coming to an end…. But no there is more - in fact lots more.

While examining the site trying to get the best buy, I discovered among the attributes of the seven year renovation the new almost talks out loud Keurig now has the capacity to make a carafe of coffee up to six cups. That looked wonderful as in my wisdom I decided I could use a couple of pods and fill the carafe. A coffee drinking friend was coming for a visit and I would surprise her.

I had received $30.00 in Kohl’s cash the day of the purchase so I returned to the department where the episode began only to find out a carafe at Kohl’s is $40.00 which I decided was too expensive as I knew I would only use it occasionally.

A couple of days passed when my new best friend, Keurig, sent me another email offering 15% off including free shipping. As hard as this is to believe, somehow Ms. Techie deleted it.

Since now the Keurig company and I are such close, I called Customer Service again asking if they could retrieve the offer. This call was answered by a sympathetic woman. We chatted away and she announced since she could not find the email she would send me a coupon for a free box of coffee and free shipping. Wow more free coffee!

She also pointed out that I had reward points from orders for the old Keurig. In a matter of minutes I figured out that I could order a carafe for $15.00.

Something must be said for the Keurig shipping department as within two days three boxes arrived, one of which had the much desired carafe. Today my inventory consists of six large boxes of coffee, a box of tea, a carafe, and several small boxes which are called five pack samplers.

When I related my story to Sweet Petunia she started calling me – “Grammie the Keurig scammer.”

After washing the carafe I attached it to the machine, put in a pod and lowered the top. Instantly up popped a message which almost sounded sarcastic announcing one cannot use the carafe unless you use carafe pods twice the size and twice the price.

Even though I wanted to call Customer Service again, I did not. I was sure I would be chastised for not realizing everything about the 2.0 machine is new.

In the end there is good news which is:

A. Bed Bath and Beyond has the new 2.0 carafe refill cup. They also have a box of carafe pods, $5.00 off plus your coupon.

B. The guy who said the engineers were working on the small refill cup had not been updated as BBB has it as well as one for the carafe,

C. While you have to open and clean out the pods – they are now can be recycled.

In the end my beverage station costing somewhere in the area of $110.00 plus the machine is extremely well stocked so come on over!!

I wish there was a moral to this story but alas there is not.

Just musin’ this morning wondering if I will ever learn – chances are we all know the answer so guess I will go have a raspberry vanilla shortcake or whatever they call it… and then I will bring the coffee to the computer, after all there may be an email from you know who!

© 2015 Musings by Marilyn - 8/18/15


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