02/13/2010----06/28/2013 random thoughts on very sick care (an Article 99???)


UHC-uni-Royal blooded blue cross and blue shield band aids of red tape and white wash.

The emergency room is an interesting place to watch human nature. At its best and at its worst.

It is the first stop for the homeless who have no health care. (and often the last stop.)

How can you have a PCP when you are destitute and homeless?

I only went once. Driven there by courteous police who took me there after I suffered broken ribs and lacerations about the head by young drug dealers who were afraid I was a 'narc', posing undercover as a homeless vet. (I wish?)

My health was not great, but relative to most homeless people I was ambulatory and only semi-catatonic.

I still remember being denied medicare at the county building. Why should, 'THEY', give a 'deadbeat' veteran, any food stamps or medicaid, when there were 'worthy' single mothers with children who needed it more. I most surely needed a tongue lashing by an overzealous servant of the tax paying public. Social services were not kind to homeless veterans like me, who had paid over $150,000 into 'THEIR' system. (Kodak 75k, me 75k).

I wondered as they said, 'You look to me like you could be working.'

And then even after obtaining prior cardiology reports, (an angiogram from Strong Memorial Hospital), of 60% coronary stenosis in one artery and 50% stenosis in another artery, done in 2000, they said,

'Well, that was two years ago, do you have any proof that you are not able to physically work now?'

I was not aware then of my debilitating TBI, and had as of yet not been diagnosed with PTSD.

I felt like these people had figuratively spit in my face, as a veteran, stigmatized with the bad rap of 'deadbeat' dad which is a computerized black mark and red flag linked to your social security number.

'NO SOUP FOR YOU', said the gender biased social services not sees. No food stamps. No housing. No medicare.

I had no phone, no driver's licence, no mailing address. I had no money, no job, no health insurance, and no hope.

Most people I knew did not care enough to help. A lost cause?(with notable exceptions)

They were embarrassed not FOR me, but BECAUSE of me. I can't blame them. When I worked at Kodak I didn't understand how a veteran could end up homeless, and unable to work. I was indifferent and ambivalent towards my own brothers in arms who had gone homeless before me. Pride goeth before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

I understand now. God brought me to my knees, and pushed my face in 'IT'; again and again. And in all honesty I probably deserved it. I did not appreciate my relatively good fortune of life, and surely was not grateful for the blessings I had received.

Eventually my younger brother, got me to go to the VA at Bath, NY. They admitted me and evaluated my condition physically and mentally. They admitted me for the domiciliary of restorative rehabilitation. I was there for six months and that was the beginning of my recovery from the mental illness, PTSD, with TBI, I had suffered directly related to the experiences I had as an American Combat Veteran of the Vietnam War.

I am extremely thankful and appreciative to the Veteran's Administration for their help and care.

And I also hold no ill will towards the people at the civilian social services who denied me. (And have denied many other thousands of my brothers in arms. Veterans who had paid into the system, and then were denied.) Denied by the hidden bias, and invisible bigotry, of gender based prejudice, of an unknowing, unfeeling culture of what civil service employees are made to believe and think, BY THE SYSTEM. (the system of job requirements and expectations to be adversarial, and antagonistic, to those individuals, THE SYSTEM, deems'UNWORTHY'?)

It's not the peoples fault. It's what they are led to believe. If you work there at social services, you can only believe what the system allows you to believe, with very little tolerance for human discretion.

It is human to err, divine to forgive.

© 2010 3D Divine Deadbeat Dad ( - 3/26/16

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