a short treatise on the word 'should'
by Albert 1

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# 1. 11/20/06 8:24 AM by Stephen
thumbsdown.gif So a geologist with a seismograph humming to beat the band must never say, "We should get out of here now."? Your explanation is thinly veiled moral relativism, into which we "should" not buy. You're a step away from "anything goes".

Editor's Note: Wasn't that a great song on Broadway. 'Anything Goes'

Anyone remember the name of the show?



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# 2. 11/20/06 8:38 AM by BF
Without looking it up, it may be from the show "Anything Goes."

Claujuh would probably know for sure.

Editor's Note: So that was also, the shows name? Speaking of B'Way I still can't reconcile "Lennie" from Law and Order as one of the stars in the Fantastics. The guy had talent we never saw on the cop show. I miss him and his wry humor.



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# 3. 11/20/06 9:10 AM by stephen natarelli
Sorry for not commenting on the topic of the column, Albert, But I thought I SHOULD let you know that it was NOT I who made the first comment.

Now on to the column, all I'll say is I hope that the democrats remember this when they say we SHOULD PAY HIGHER TAXES AND SOCIALIZE HEALTH CARE.

To that I'll steal Tonto's line and say "...What you mean WE should...???"

Editor's Note: Yes I know that there are a fey more Stephans or Steves on here just as there has been Jims.

I sort if like the Canadian systm and am wondering what Mitt Romney's exact pplan is since he is stressing he has one to give us all heath care coverage.

As a Mormon he would be bringing some unique perspectives to government on group care philosophy.

Whenever ANYONE uses that word including the Dems a bell goes off. I start asdking the questions. If they have answers fine, if not phttt!!



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# 4. 11/20/06 10:53 AM by mk
beleive it or not, LDS believe in doing for yourself. Our welfare/ philosophy contradicts the world's.

It's called care for yourself first, then use your excess to bless others. You have a responsibility to care for yourself and your own. For the official policy: "PROVIDING IN THE LORD'S OWN WAY " PDF VERSION

http://www.providentliving.org/channel/1,11677,1957-1,00.html

Editor's Note: Then the stories of the food cupboards of the past were myths??

LDS uses the beehive to illustrate a coordinated social effort.

This is not in conflict with the concept of personal responsibility.

Both are compatible. Study the principle known as "the economy of scale" then read Eric Hoffers's "Small is Beautiful" which was Jerry Brown's favorite read.



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# 5. 4/19/08 8:16 AM by Laughing
I THINK people SHOULD STOP assuming that they are the sole proprietors of their very common names! Sheeeesh, as if there can only be one Stephen? Please. Good treatise, Albert. It's always good to bring back a column that packs a punch, so to speak; what I mean is, that makes one think. I THINK more people SHOULD do that!...THINK that is. :>)

Editor's Note: thanx "laughing'

It seems to be a proven fact that vigorous mental excercise is the best preventative for alzhiemer's.

Anytime I initially consider a topic or situation and the word "should" creeps in by old habit I do a double take and find a way to state my opinion without using "should" or "ought".



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# 6. 4/19/08 10:15 AM by Hawkeye - East Rochester, NY
The song "Anything Goes" was the featured song in the Cole Porter play and later movie , "Anything Goes".

Editor's Note: thanx Hawk



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# 7. 4/1/10 10:10 AM by little john
thumbsup.gif "Coulda Woulda Shoulda"--Celine Dion

The lion of grace with a voice so smooth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoGGHoeE2QY

Editor's Note: I never heard her sing anything I liked. The voice is great but I dont care for the style or choice of songs.



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# 8. 4/1/10 10:50 AM by Eric - Rochester, NY
Let me get this straight:

We 'shouldn't' use the word 'should'?

I get it, Albert - just kidding a bit.

Editor's Note: You may or must relative to subject matter. No fence straddling



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# 9. 4/1/10 10:39 PM by Mark - Greece
I see 'should' as the midpoint between 'may' and 'must.' MAY- you're allowed to. SHOULD- you're expected to MUST-you're required to. No research, just my opinion.

Editor's Note: That is why in my personal opinion I like to see what a person REALLY feels. I will claim that most who say "should" really dont have the guts to say "must".

Anything less than a "must" in my opinion rates a "may" if one is being honest with their opinion.

Thanks for seeing the relavance of the three words as they were intended to be used. I just wish people would say what they really meant.

You are correct it is a midpoint but in use I consider it usually dishonest.



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# 10. 4/2/10 7:57 AM by Mark - Greece
One writer here says that the Westboro protesters MAY say anything they want at soldiers' funerals. I say they SHOULD have more respect for our fallen heros. Uncle Sam rules they MUST be allowed to spew hatred. While they have the freedom to harass funeral-goers, they do not have the obligation. Sometimes, occasionally, there needs to be that middle ground.

Editor's Note: Uncle Sam is just being technically accurate in regards to free speech.

The ACLU that I support says the same thing however a group of protesters could make that protesting costly and stay within the letter of Uncle Sams laws.

Most of those Westboro wackjobs probably could be exposed publically as individuals where their friends and neighbors would be informed about how fine followers of Christ they are.



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# 11. 4/2/10 6:10 PM by M.E. - N.Y.
thumbsup.gif Albert,

Another lesson I am learning from your writings. I will now try to change to must or will instead of "should" as I used to do. Thanx

Editor's Note: You may also use "may" when you have more confidence in someone's judgement.

"May" allows them to determine whether or not to do something of which you recognize some options.



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# 12. 4/18/16 6:54 AM by little john - mount morris
thumbsup.gif Should is just a couple of consonants away from could and would...

shhh---owe you ---ld

W---owe you---ld

see-o---u---l(or) d vote

the liberal side of or is d where the c is the sea of seize...

Editor's Note: As much as you seem to despise lawyers I personally feel you would give any oppositions the willies in a courtroom. Maybe start as a pro-bono legal researcher

You still have time for a second career John



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# 13. 4/18/16 12:09 PM by Tom Dey - Springwater
Good one from nearly 10 years back. I must have been otherwise distracted in those days to have missed it. Anytime someone uses an over inclusive qualifier, I rebel by stating or doing the opposite. Hate it when someone tells me what I Should do with My $, car, lawn, time, proboscis. Ever notice how the commands come from people who have no sway over us at all? Even my doctors Recommend behavior modifications, but don't demand them: "Your arthritis and blood chemistry are likely to improve with exercise and diet." That kinda advice I consider and try to heed. The one that chafes me the most is when a talking head on TV News looks at the diametric and uses "We both know" followed by an absurd opinion. I would (he should) retort: "We both know you are wrong."

Editor's Note: An old lady friend's therapist advised her not to let anyone should on her.

She also was advised that to understand is to stand under. That one even makes more sense than replacing should with may or must.



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# 14. 4/18/16 4:04 PM by little john - mount morris
thumbsup.gif I thought maybe, but had to check...

Sure enough, shoulds is one of the 15 styles of distorted thinking I am guilty of having used in the past and need to avoid in the future...

Shoulds: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you, and you feel guilty if you violate the rules. The rules are right and indisputable and, as a result, you are often in the position of judging and finding fault (in yourself and in others). Cue words indicating the presence of this distortion are should, ought, and must.

Editor's Note: Also the word **understand**. When someone feeds me some B.S. I choose not to stand-under despite their pleas.



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# 15. 4/19/16 7:27 AM by Mark - Greece
A very insightful repost. I'll bet you could generate a month's worth of columns after attending a Norm Crosby comedy routine! I would guess that the laughs he gets (got?) are an outward sign of what intelligent people feel inwardly when hearing words inappropriately applied, more so when from people who know better. I almost wrote 'should know better' which would result in using the woulda-coulda-shoulda all in one comment, though not necessarily all apropos.

Editor's Note: Communication is much more a hypnotic process than one realizes. As soon as you begin the analysis of it you have shifted your point of view where the communicator cannot as directly affect it.

This displaced P.O.V is key to much more in the area of perception reality rather than being involved with a contrived illusion.




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