I look at my work and see that it's good.
Gawd, I'm a great writer.
Clearly the best on WOTL and one of the best I've ever read anywhere.
And then an internal strawman advocating Satan jumps up and brays "if you so good den why aintcha rich and famous".
Of course I know the answer for that.
I ain't gonna sell out.
I'm an obscure artist. I don't want the hassle of fame nor the complication of wealth.
Cliff Lee said it best...enough is enough.
I take it one step further
Not enough is enough because I still have my pride.
I got plenty of pride that's another reason why I and guys like me always got plenty of nuthin which is always plenty for us.
We're the ones with talent looking for opportunity.
Because the opportunity never comes along...
Because the phone never rings and the voice on the other end never says
"I've googled Thornton Krell and my god, your wistful prolificity as a writer is only equalled by the unassuming magnificence of your photographic images. We're sending a limo over to pick you up and put an end to your self-induced obscurity. In other words 'c'mere Cat, we gonna make you a star'"
Do phone, she don't ring.
That's the pickle we're in, obscure martyrs and artists that we are.
So we turn our pride into anger and discontent that fuels our liberality and artistic drive.
Of course all of this is self indulogent non-sense because America is the land of opportunity.
If you believe in capitalism which is to say if you believe in in America then you believe in happiness
it eventually becomes apparent
that in America...
wait for it....
Opportunity seeks talent rather than the other way around.
Most of us who feel we are talent looking for opportunity are inherently angry because the talent we have discovered in ourseves is not our true talent but only a facade, a compulsion, an obsession or rationalization.
We are fighting a chin first bout against the stupidity, insensitivity and selfishness of the society that surrounds us
and its lackey dogs
and its vampires
Then we realize that the whole concept of capitalism is..
wait for it..... to capitalize on talent
talent must be discovered if capitalism is to survive and since capitalism is doing pretty well if you are at the top of the pile then the ongoing search for talent is also working out quite satisfactorilly
Excuse me while I trickle
thank you very much.
Now and then we can stop perceiving ourselves as sanctimonious talent compulsives looking for opportunity and start realizing that opportunity is looking for talent and everything will turn out fine in the end if we can just be happy
not fake happy
not I give up happy
as I learn a little more
every day about whom
I imagine I am and where I imagine
And see that it is good.
© 2010 Thornton Krell - 12/17/10