A friend of mine has told a group of us that she would like to come back as a tomato plant so she can stand in the sun all day. She believes in reincarnation which nobody else believes in.
A very ladylike lady that we all know has suddenly started using swear words, even the f -bomb, and she also lets her anger show on frequent occasions. There has been a lot of discussion about why this is, perhaps she has been through a trauma, perhaps she is sick and not telling us, but the number one reason that everybody agreed on is that she is probably possessed by the devil. We all shuddered. Nobody really believed this but in some weird way it made sense.
One day a friend was missing from our group, and another friend suggested that this absent friend was not aging well. She has a lot of wrinkles on her cheeks and bags under her eyes. Plus she has stopped wearing a bra and you can see the outline of the fall under her sweatshirts. All were in agreement that we loved her anyway.
Someone told me something that was confidential and that she had promised not to tell anyone – that our neighbor suspected that her husband was cheating on her. This person also told me that she knows it is true because she personally saw him eating at Wendy’s with a girl that was way too young and pretty for him. He must have money because why else would she want to be with him, he’s certainly not good-looking anymore.
She hates to say it, but our friend is really gaining weight, she should listen to Michelle Obama and stop eating burgers and fries, stay away from the donuts we always have when we all eat out, she should just have coffee, not only does she look bad but it’s bad for her health. Not to mention what she looks like in her clothes, tight tight tight......
One thing that irritates this person is the fact that all the young girls nowadays wear tops that show the tops of their breasts. She wonders if these girls realize that they all look the same, big white blobs busting out of the tops of their T-shirts, yuck, she wonders too if the boys have realized that one girl’s breasts look just like the next, she wishes we would go back to modesty and mystery.
Mary should really get her hair cut, it’s been about six months, hasn’t it? Long hair looks bad on a woman her age, what’s she trying to prove, anyway? It looks so straggly, I hope she doesn’t think she looks sexy, because she doesn’t. She should take a long look in the mirror in my opinion. She always looked so pretty with her short curls...
Someone’s grandkids are allowed to do whatever they want, they can eat all the sugar they want, don’t have any set bed-time, the family doesn’t eat together at the table like she made her family do in the past, no discipline, and they rule the roost. She fears for what the future will bring for these children when they are grown and go to work and have to follow rules.
Gossip from a man’s point of view: We all know why you ladies feel you have to get together every Tuesday night – we know it’s to rip us guys apart. If you have anything to say about us you should say it to us personally, not share it with all your friends. It makes us feel bad, especially when we’re sitting alone at home with the kids and knowing you don’t appreciate all we do for you. You ladies need to be thankful for what you have and stop dissing us like you do.
© 2012 Just Lynne - 3/28/12
