by Just Lynne

# 1. 7/20/12 8:30 PM by The Last Mohican
I can identify with how you feel, Lynne. I'm only in my late 40's, but sometimes I wake up in a panic at night (always this hits me at night) and think about dying, about how it will be when the inevitable hits. I am NOT alone, but have a wife and two beautiful children who are still young enough to live with and I still have this from time to time. I wonder if it is part of getting older. I can't help but think these moments are important, that they may be God's way of making me aware of eternity and what I'm doing with my life right now.

Editor's Note: I've always felt they are important too, Last, but have found it hard sometimes to figure them out. Also why they always occur at night! As far as being about dying, mine are related to that too, the more recent one being a form of Am I Done, Is This All There Will Be, type of worry. But the good thing is, for both of us, that they do pass away after a while. At least until the next time!

# 2. 7/21/12 9:18 AM by Marilyn
thumbsup.gif You hit the nail -- on the head. You are expressing what so many of us think without a doubt. Writing is a great therapy. And keeping yourself busy, busy - and I take simply sleep or something like it. It does help...until you can get back into a sleep pattern.

Editor's Note: Hmm, I should try that to help me sleep, Marilyn, before I go to the doctor. I do keep myself pretty busy, but the problem is that, at night when I'm alone, I cannot escape the facts of my present life! It bothers me that there is nothing I can do to fix it. I'm used to solving problems, not letting them keep me awake at night! LOL.

# 3. 7/21/12 11:38 AM by Marilyn
Give it a whirl Lynne - and one day you will wake up refreshed and better over all. I think the other part which is extremely hard to do is acceptance... in our younger days finding a man to share our lives with would have been simple....

Editor's Note: Ain't that the truth, Marilyn, back in the old days nothing seemed too difficult to do. I am trying for acceptance, most days I do well, but nights are a different story!

# 4. 7/21/12 12:22 PM by little john - Mt.Morris,N.Y.
thumbsup.gif NIGHTTIME ANXIETY...

I could relate to that title and the feeling it conveys to so many of us. I long for those days when we could "sleep" like a baby. Severe sleep deprivation was a valid trigger for many of my manic episodes and PTSD dysfunctionality. I could not focus or concentrate and had trouble just enjoying the day, and the present I was in.

I have learned to relax my mind, (everyone is different, but should use what works for you...) and a good night's sleep is better than any "remedy" a doctor can prescribe. I use music, or reading a good book. (a boring book is even better.)

I have learned to accept my accelerated aging as gracefully as I can, and have learned to live in the moment, with no regrets by forgiving those things that used to keep me up at night "stewing" about things I had no control over at all. I could not fix the world, but even when I was homeless, and destitute, I learned that even one very small act of kindness to someone who needed kindness shown, was a way of making my life have purpose.

And what little I can give to you is just this. Know that you are not alone. You are not the only one who feels these things. And although those many people who love you may not show it; every day; know that they do love you...

Sincerely AXM

Editor's Note: Thanks for those words of kindness, little john. And for letting me know I am not alone. I'm glad you've come so far in your life that you can write for us on WOTL.

# 5. 7/21/12 10:33 PM by Eileen
Go to the casinos and have a blast. Take a girlfriend or go by yourself. But don't stop doing things because they bring back a memory - pretty soon you won't go out at all :(

Editor's Note: There's some truth to that, Eileen, I haven't been much of anywhere since Wes died, but am planning on taking a trip to Rhode Island in September. Foxworth Casino is nearby to where I'm going, so that will be my first casino trip and hopefully not my last!

# 6. 7/21/12 11:42 PM by Peter Lounsbury
I have an extremely over active mind at night and have had insomnia all of my life. I finally quit "not saying anything" at the doctors office and was frankly quite surprised that he suggested sleeping pills that can be habit forming. So he prescribed Ambien (Zolpidem generically) and I took one whenever I was wide awake way too late at night, for me the breaking point is about 1:30am, and it does get me to sleep!

Problem is that I can get to sleep initially, but I know that if I am not tired all that will do is ensure that I am totally awake an hour or so later and I'll have to survive the day on an hours sleep. I told him about that and he prescribed a time released formula that delivers it more evenly throughout the night, and that one did the trick!

I am ever aware that it can be habit forming, some say that you won't be able to sleep without if you become addicted, but I resist taking unless it is after at least one night trying my best without it. Just knowing that I have it helps as I am no longer staring at the clock in desperation counting the time until I have to wake up, so I don't have ot take it nearly as often as I thought. When I was in Cambodia I slept like baby every night believe it or not, but I think that was more that I was exhausted from the heat than anyhting else. Anyhow, don't rule out prescription medication unti you talk to your doctor, as you will be surprised to know that you can get a little help in training your mind to sleep :)

It's 1145pm on a weekend as I write this and I am getting sleepy au naturale tonight, so I figure I should be good; especially because I won't do the "I have xxx hours to sleep" thing because I know I don't have to wake up at 6:30am. Doesn't always turn out like that, but it does more often than not any more. So I guess I'm saying I can totally relate to you on this, been there and have found relief in the form of responsible medication management.

Editor's Note: It's time for me to make a Dr. appt for my yearly physical, so I will discuss this with her, Peter, and since you wrote it out in words here, just how it feels when you can't sleep, this will help me talk to her. I am concerned too about addiction, but a person without sleep is a person without joy! Thanks, and I'm glad you are doing so much better and I hope your night was au naturale.

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