Thus begins the story of the Henderson Harbor Hotdog Standoff. It is a story of good and bad, of greed and gluttony, of white hot dogs and red hot dogs. This event happened 15 years ago at a cottage on White's Bay near Henderson Harbor. The owner of the cottage was a miserly old lady, let's call her Grandma. The kids and grandkids left for the day to Wescott Beach.
This day, in rambles a local Kook named Charlie and his wife. Charlie is a bum but has a cottage on White's Bay, courtesy of his mother. Charlie mainly drank and roamed around looking for a free lunch or dinner. Usually by 3pm Charlie and his wife were lightly toasted. Not that I'm against that sort of thing mind you, just laying out the story.
Charlie had arrived right around the lunch hour and Grandma had not yet eaten. Charlie was looking for a nice conversation and maybe a bite to eat. Grandma knew this which annoyed her to no end. Being raised in the time she was raised, Grandma had no choice but to invite Charlie and his wife in and have a sit. She had no intention of feeding Charlie and his wife, not even a hot dog. And Charlie had no intention of leaving until they had a hot dog.
A CheapSkate Standoff. Grandma, not having eaten lunch yet, was thinking they would just stay an hour or 2, waiting for the Lunch/Dinner invite that no way in hades was going to be offered. Still, harlie figured to wait the old girl out. She has to eat sometime. And if she eats, Charlie eats. But if she doesn't eat, well then.....
Hours passed and people's stomachs were growling but no move was made by Grandma to the fridge even though she was ravenously hungry. If she eats, Charlie eats. It's better to die of starvation than offer Charlie a hot dog. Eating is the one pleasure Grandma had but feeding another human being ruined the whole experience in her mind.
We returned about 8 pm that night to quite a sight, Grandma eating everything in the fridge, cold hot dogs, cottage cheese, apples, yesterdays home fries, milk out of the jug. She told us between mouthfuls of food about Charlie and his wife staying and waiting her out, looking for a bite to eat. She reported happily she was able to wait them out and they left without even a potato chip.
Her happiest moment, her crowning achievement, her Sistene Chapple. Personally, I can't stand white hot dogs and wished Grandma had thrown a couple of them Charlie's way.
© 2011 Jamie - 6/27/11