Graduation Day Speeches
Our youngest son Joe graduated from SUNY Geneseo a year ago and we went to the Graduation Ceremony. The graduation was held at the hockey arena where the temperatures seem to reach about 90 degrees with 100% humidity. It was ironic that we were in a hockey arena sweating like animals.
The irony was completely wasted on the audience as the speakers' speeches started dragging on. And on. And on. I hate when irony is wasted. What follows next may seem nit picking but extreme heat and humidity can make you grumpy. This is Filler Speech: 'Don't forget that you are graduates of _____ and representing your college'.
Don't forget it's 97 degrees in here and we need to get a beer. If you start a sentence with 'I want to say 2 last things, but before I say them I want to say something else' is painful to listen to. Did he write those words? My guess is he wrote the speech on the drive to the ceremony.
I looked around. Most people were fanning themselves with the programs. Many people were moving their lips, I think they were saying 'shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up....'. Our middle son Ben was sitting next to me. I told Ben 'Let's start Booing and throw batteries at the speaker, so he gets the message to shut up'.
Ben is very kind and patient. He told me I need to set an example. 15 minutes later, after more inane blather Ben says 'Don't throw D batteries, they can injure'.
The speeches finally ended and we continued to the reception which included cupcakes and vegetables. The thin people avoided the cupcakes and I even heard disparaging remarks about cupcakes in general. And SUNY Geneseo has Diversity as one of their values. Didn't these people listen to the speeches? Cupcake Nazis need to chill out.
And Fat People are cool.
And speeches need to be limited to 2 minutes.
Or the batteries will fly.
© 2011 Jamie - 5/21/13